The older we grow, the closer we come to our own death, or that of a loved one. Often we do not know how to cope. This is partly because of the perception of death in our culture. In Australia and in Britain, death is ignored: people consider it unpleasant to talk about, and follow the ritual of death reluctantly. In the U.S.A., it is commercialized, made a gaudy, plastic event, where people do not die but ‘pass on’ or are ‘called’. In other cultures, death is accepted, from childhood on, as a natural event to be celebrated or affirmed.
After the death of a loved one, the survivor has a need to grieve. Bereavement is normal, but because of our distaste for death, which we ignore or commercialize, we are uncomfortable when we greet a bereaved person. We do not know how to handle the problems and try to ignore the person during the time he is confused, indrawn, and mourning. We blame him for needing help because it makes us uncomfortable to give help. If he seems lonely, we attribute this to his age, not to his grief.
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